I hesitated

I hesitated
the first time,
I took you in my arm,

And the first bow
I hit
At your green charm.

I fumbled in the dark
Around you,
the first time
I entered you.

I hesitated
in believing
what was true,
in the light far
far-inside you.

And when I came out,
I couldn't un-enter you.
indeed I could not.

Living inside-out
or altogether in?
it's only you
wherever I've been.

The strings
you tied the first time,
time when I hesitated
hangs around
telling tales-of-your-love,

Your light
brightens up my day,
outliving the sun
shines my way,
in little sparks, in its play.

I hesitated then,
to accept it.
I hesitate now,
to acknowledge it.

My hesitation is my proof
of my naivety.
Your acceptation of me,
of your nicety.

Love is not in making it believe,
Love is in believing in it to conceive.
"I love you" I say
"Me too love you" I receive.

That's a big thing to say,
b'cos love is not an easy play.

death and/or life

Lying idle on your bed, braving nuisances and bruises, scared for your love, your life, of death...ah...this is what you come up with. Don't take it seriously, just gulp them in.

Strip your soul
and empty your heart.
If you got to understand,
just break yourself apart.

And begin anew,
afresh, un-rehearsed,

Death crosses life,
or life sucks on death,
it wouldn't matter,
nothing would fall apart.

Death and life will fuse,
Become friends, and
all fear will depart.

When you see death coming,
You cling to life.
until then, life is just a-body-part.

When you have just one moment left,
Life becomes so precious,
so empty, so undone.
And then, you find something
you want to do the most.

That wish is life.
That wish is life only.
That wish is my love,
That wish is you, honey.

And the moment,
the moment of death becomes an eternity.
that retains in the heart,
my heart, her heart,
my pain, her pain,
and life - yes honey - life,
becomes art.

you are me

You are me
And I am you.

Our connection, our wire,
This is our glue.

A single truth,
Rest all untrue.

Eternal is every moment,
And true is all hue.

In you, I am fine.
outside, all blue.

'A love anthem'
I write every day, for you
we'll sing secretly, and
none would have a clue.

And truth will seep through.
To the body, then heart,
then soul,
until we become one, not two.

You in me,
I in you.

My feeble love - II

Read Here: "My Feeble Love - I"

Alone and mislaid,
I walk down the shade.
Distrait this time,
for none is my aid.

Forgotten as I am,
Abandoned as I am,
I dare not to think of you,
and my impotency - unable to do a thing,
even to move a pebble,
or my thoughts away from you,
I grow heavy,
And little coward too.

Once, we braved those dreams together,
in those lovely nights, embracing each other.
And when you feared going ahead,
I took you by hand, and drove off shore.
“Let’s melt into each other, and become one.
As if you are all, and I am none.”
You proclaimed this, then, with you head on my shoulder
And eyes, drowning into mine,
which grew bolder and bolder,
with passing time.
It happened only a few days ago.
What did I do, honey, to turn you to such a virago?

Make me understand,
shona,
What all is going on?
What made you to walk out on me,
Did you love him more than ever,
you loved me before?

Don’t desert me – honey - in this combat.
Don’t leave me “just like that.”

Words are betraying me,
Feelings are forbidding me,
I am fit for nothing...here,
Is all they seem to convince me, dear.

A man is nothing,
if he has nothing to live for.
I would perish, I know,
I...just want to see you before.

To undo all the days,
that passed, without you,
flat, cloyed of your absence,
with a soft brush of your hairs.

To un-cry all the bitter tears,
I flooded my pillow with,

To un-dream everything,
That has a strand of you.

And to perish, if that’s to be,
Alone, and mislaid,
the way I am straying,
now, like a spaid,
nothing can set me free,
don't you see?